With a new year comes new subpar pop songs that’ll infest any club, party, or TikTok video. Enter “Yummy,” the first single from Justin Bieber in over four years, released on Jan. 3.
“Yummy” is Bieber’s lazy attempt of crafting a pop number peppered with subdued R&B beats, and the end result sounds like someone tried to recreate Drake’s 2015 earworm “Hotline Bling” from memory while simultaneously listening to Jeremih.
With mindless, sing-songy lyrics that are as atrocious as they are ludicrous, “Yummy” is anything but decadent or delicious like the track’s title suggests: it’s unpalatable as it is putrid. Check, please!
Supposedly, “Yummy” is Bieber’s token of, er, gratitude toward his wife, model Hailey Bieber (née Baldwin). Judging by the lyrics of endearment one can only assume his love letters to his darling wife are anything short of groundbreaking:
Yeah, you got that yummy-yum, that yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy.
Say the word, on my way
Yeah babe, yeah babe, yeah babe.
And a shameless promotion of his clothing line, Drew:
“Hop in the Lambo, I’m on my way/ Drew House slippers with a smile on my face.”
“Yummy” is the first single off Bieber’s upcoming fifth album, which is rumored to feature collaborations from Post Malone and Travis Scott, although its title and release date are still unknown.
Fear not, Bieber fanatics: 2020 is your year. After canceling the remaining dates of the 2017 “Purpose” tour, consider “Yummy” the first of many Bieber olive branches offered, as the singer has a YouTube documentary series, “Justin Bieber: Seasons,” dropping Jan. 27, as well as a North American tour, which is set to kick off May 14 in Seattle.